GrannyXpress

I’ve been an educator since 1968.

I have two kids myself,
but the best birth story I know is the one I saw in my own
second grade class room a few years back.

When I was A kid, I loved show-and-tell.
So I always have A few sessions
with my students.

It helps them get over shyness and
usually show-and-tell is pretty tame.

Kids bring in pet turtles,model
airplanes, pictures of fish they catch, stuff like that.
And I never ever place any boundaries or limitations on them.

If they want to lug it
in to school and talk about it, they’re welcome.

Well, one day this little girl, Purita, a very bright, very
Smart, clever outgoing kid,
takes her turn and waddles up to the front of the class
with a pillow stuffed under her sweater.

She holds up a snapshot of an infant,
“This is Rey,my baby brother,
and I’m going to tell you about his birthday.”

“First, Mom and Dad made him as a symbol of their
love, and then Dad put
a seed in my Mom’s stomach, and Rey grew in there.
He ate for nine months through an umbrella cord “.

She’s standing there with her hands on the pillow, and
I’m trying not to
laugh and wishing I had my camcorder with me.

The kids were watching her in amazement.

“Then, about two Saturdays ago, my Mom starts saying
and going, ‘Oh, Oh, oh,oh,!
Purita puts a hand behind her back and groans.

“She walked around the house for, like an hour, ‘Oh, oh, oh!

(Now this kid is doing
a hysterical duck walk and groaning).

“My Dad called the middle wife.
She delivers babies,but she doesn’t
have a sign on the car like the Domino’s man.

They got my Mom to lie down on the bed like this.

(Then Purita lies down with her back against the wall).

And then, pop!!

My Mom had this bag of water she kept in there in case
he got thirsty, and it just blew up and spilled all over
the bed, like psshhheeww!.
(This kid has her legs spread with her little hands miming
water flowing away. It was too much!)

“Then the middle wife starts saying ‘push,
push, and ‘breathe, breathe.

They started counting, but never even got past ten.

Then, all of a sudden, out comes my brother.

He was covered in yucky stuff that they
all said it was from Mom’s play-center, so there must
be a lot of toys inside there.”

Then Purita stood up, took a big theatrical
bow and returned to her seat.

I’m sure I applauded the loudest.

Ever since then, when it’s
show-and-tell day, I bring my camcorder, just in case
another “Middle Wife” comes along.

This is written by an anonymous Grade two teacher.

The photo is from sxc.hu © Jenny Rollo (thanks Jenny!)

and for the little ones:

* Spots, Feathers, and Curly Tails by Nancy Tafuri

*The above list for toddlers was recommended by the Richland Librarians, Richland, SC

Into the Garden I Go….

In times past I have enjoyed many granny gardens– my own grandmothers both gardened, one being what I would call a “master gardener”. Gran Rempel came from a long line of ‘horticulturalists‘, many of whom trained at the University of Guelph, where I see you can now gain an on-line and distance certificate in various landscaping, horticulture and golf/turf subjects. Very interesting!

I always look in EBay for items that I find elsewhere but know I can get less expensively from EBay– example being, good quality gardening gloves, bulk, or a gardening apron (with a place for seeds, tools, gloves, kneepads), and maybe an industrial pressure sprayer that some old gardener no longer needs.

Granny Gardens

I am the Belated Gardener.
I have good intentions, but
planting by the Moon– isn’t
that some horrid pagan ritual?

And so, I usually have some
scraggly little garden
and most of my seeds– if
they do indeed, germinate–
turn into leggy vines with
tiny veggies,
hardly worth the bother.

But this year will be different.

I can feel it in my bones.

And I’m going to get hold of
this wonderful ebook that
will apparently take my
hand (well, metaphorically)
and help me be the sort of
organic gardener I, and all
of my neighbors,
are waiting for me to become.
Click Here!

Getting Baby To Sleep

We’ve all been there as grandparents, I’m sure…. our little grandchild– delightful, cherubic, sweet-smelling– won’t go to sleep. Either we’re trying to assist our tired adult child, the parent, get the squalling baby to release all that tension into lovely restful sleep, or we’re trying to do it ourselves as temporary babysitters or long-term caregivers….

We draw on all the stuff we did in the past as parents… checking for pins and other possible sources of external discomfort– looking for signs of colic and earache– adjusting clothing to meet with either too-hot or too-cool conditions– rocking– singing– ferberizing– etc.

Eventually we may get the wee one to sleep, but it might be with him/her in our arms or lying in the same bed with them… any stirring starts the whole process over again.

Here is an e-offer that costs about as much as a couple of lattes and seems to guarantee successfully getting your baby to sleep after applying what you learn from a 35-minute audio. Sounds worth a try to me– what do you think? Pass the word on to the young adults who are trying to do it all– Click Here!